Douchebaggery and the mathematics of sex appeal

I am bored and feel like writing, so I started a new blog with no particular purpose other than to air my thoughts. And with the adult content warning turned on, I can say whatever the fuck I want! Hooray for profanity.

At the beginning of this month, I began lifting weights regularly. Sometimes it's hard to fit into my schedule, sometimes I'm just lazy, but I've been getting out to the gym more or less 2 out of every 3 days, so it's going pretty well. My aim is to build muscle mass. I've tried to bulk up by eating a ton of food and getting fat, but this has proven ineffective, so I am now attempting the muscle-based approach. Protein shakes and lots of meat. 4-5 meals per day. That kind of shit. The ultimate goal is to increase my sex appeal to the point where I become irresistible to the female libido. I am not a pathetic person, and I don't want people to see that when they first look at me.

Which brings me to stereotypes. Since when did the big muscley douchebag with the backwards cap and the skin-tight Diesel t-shirt become a more appealing lover than the handsome skinny guy with glasses? Sure, we may not be able to throw you around with one hand or drink you under the table, but for fucks sake, have you ever met a meathead frat guy who didn't treat you like a piece of furniture?

We all stereotype, there's just no avoiding it. If you don't understand something, you just apply a label and take the cultural underpinnings of that label and apply them across the board. If I see a built white dude with a crew cut and a polo shirt, I'm going to assume he's a douchey frat boy who probably stopped maturing at the age of 16, has a passion for messing with the little guy, and generally treats women like dirt. I know it's not true, but I do it anyways, because it makes me feel better about myself.

Likewise, I'm sure when they see people like me, they probably think I'm a wiseass, no-game loser who only thinks he's cool because of Revenge of the Nerds. Or something along those lines. They probably also know it's not true across the board (or at least I hope they do), but again, they stereotype anyways because it makes them feel better about themselves too.

It's easy to see why a nerdy guy like me might find those big frat dudes intimidating. The most obvious reason is because they could royally fuck me up if they wanted to (unless I managed to run fast enough in the other direction). But then there's also the issue of physical sex appeal. Modern pop culture tells men that muscles are sexy. Sure, there's more to sex appeal than your body type, but let's face it. When you're at a party or at a bar or somewhere, the first thing you notice about someone is their body. A guy with a small amount of muscle mass will probably find himself less attractive even than guys with more fat (other than the really obese ones), simply because more fat equals more mass, which is easy to make appear to be more muscle.

Maybe it's not even mass that's necessary, maybe it's just definition. The way I see it, most girls want a guy who can "handle" them. For the more fit girls, that means a guy with enough bulk that he will be able to throw her around the bedroom at his hearts desire. Are they looking for the man of their dreams in this situation? One would assume not, but in reality most women are pretty much constantly hunting for the man of their dreams. So why go for the bulky guys, if their body types generally correspond to a more assholish, chauvanistic personality?

Seriously, the guys with the good personality are the ones who can't bench press 250 or crush a beer can on their heads. Simply put, the guys you should be looking for are the ones who use their time for more productive things, like keeping up to date on current events or forwarding their ambitious careers.

Or maybe they go for the meatheads because they know they don't have attractive personalities, so it's easier to just fuck-and-run, with no worries about falling for the guy in the process.

Well at any rate, I've started working out because I want to attract these fit girls and turn them to the dark side (i.e. get them to start noticing the little guy). I'm not sure if the whole mass-building effort is going to work (preliminary results are inconclusive...), but theoretically it will at least build my confidence enough to get me out there, going after those fit girls.

Fit. I like that adjective. Other adjectives I like to use to describe fit women: Gorgeous. Foxy. Delectable. Elegant. Decadent. Now that is what I call hot shit right there. So much better than those generic words like sexy, hot, fine. I've got class, and I'm going to use it.

Anyways, back on track. I have a great personality, many girls have said I would be a great catch. At this point in my life that is a bit of a problem, because all I want to do is have fun, sex included. So I go for the girls who are looking for the same thing, but then I realize that they're actually looking for a mate (like all girls), and then they always fall for my personality and it ends up being more difficult to let go. So I try going for the girls who may not yet be into the whole no-strings-attached thing and try to convince them of its positive benefits. This rarely works, and they frequently just end up thinking I'm a douchebag.

I know there are girls out there who love to have sex but are independent/narcissistic enough to keep a far enough distance away from me personally so that neither of us start thinking about a committed relationship. Because at this point in my life, I am not looking for a soul mate, and I am not going to change my life plans for anybody but myself. I have a future that involves more than working the service industry, and I'm going to pursue it no matter what falls in my lap on the way.

That's not to say I don't want to eventually settle down, get married, have kids, the whole cabash. Indeed, I would love to have all these things one day. However, now is just not the time. Career ambitions put me in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere, Latin America for the next 2 years, and I am not going to put a girl through that kind of pressure unless she and I both mutually decide that we are perfect for eachother in every way possible (which I find highly unlikely, considering how picky I am) and we are both willing to wait that long for each other (which would take a lot for me to agree to).

I think I might go to the club by myself tonight, see how the old sexy-meter is doing. What do you think? College dance club or live-band karaoke? It's a tough call...